


What Is and What Could've Been

by Aka_Karasu (Raven052)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Established Levi/Eren Yeager, M/M, Past Levi/Erwin Smith, Rumours, just a little bit of chatting, tiny bit of mild sexual content, with a little bit of flashback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 08:32:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6975565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven052/pseuds/Aka_Karasu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's been a lot of talk and rumours about Levi and Eren, and it's finally come to Erwin's attention. Hoping to dispel the rumours, he confronts Levi about it.<br/>Of course, he doesn't get the answer he was expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Is and What Could've Been

Levi was sat in his chair in his room, one leg neatly crossed over the other as he read over the papers before him.  
Reports from Hange, often she’d insist on giving him the even more detailed and long winded verbal version. But this time he’d been let off lightly with the more organised and concise written version. 

He didn’t bother looking up when he heard the knock on the door.  
“Come in.” 

“Levi.”  
The Captain looked up, eyebrows raising in surprise as he saw Erwin Smith, Commander, standing in his doorway.  
“Well. This is a surprise. To what do I owe the pleasure, Erwin?” Levi asked, turning his chair around, gesturing towards the spare for Erwin to sit on.  
Erwin closed the door behind him, but remained standing.  
“Levi, we need to discuss something, and I don’t want you trying to brush me off.”  
Levi tilted his head. “When have I ever done that, Commander?”  
The other man folded his arms, and gave Levi a look that may have cowed a weaker man. On Levi, it had little effect at all.  
“I’ll get straight to it, Levi. I’ve been made aware, by more than one member of the regiment, including some of notable rank, that there is an… Un-ignorable situation, between yourself, and Eren Yeager.” 

To this, Levi’s mouth twitched, eyebrows briefly raised, then he promptly moved his chair back to it’s original position. “Kindly come back to me when you wish to discuss something that is actually of anyone else’s concern.” Levi said, his cool voice having just the slightest edge to it, the only indication that he was riled.  
Erwin knew Levi too well not to notice it.  
“Levi!” Erwin snapped. “Do not turn your back on me like that, and do not think you can get away with dismissing your Commander so flippantly! I had thought we’d bestowed some sort of respect for rank in you, but if you insist-”  
Levi turned his head to send a sharp glare towards Erwin. “I have plenty of respect for rank and order, Commander.” His voice sharp, harsh. “But the issue you have come to me with today has nothing to do with that, so I shall act accordingly, and ask others to keep their noses out of things that are not their business.” 

Erwin’s hand clamped on Levi’s shoulder, pulling him back and out of his chair.  
Levi reacted with usual swiftness, turning around and brushing Erwin’s hand off him.  
Eyes narrowed and flashing, dangerous. Erwin knew this look of Levi’s, he knew the power that crouched behind this look, coiled and ready. He didn’t want a fight, but he needed to get to the bottom of this.  
“Levi.” Erwin said, calmly. “Forget this as a matter of rank then, and understand that I need to know, for your sake, and the boys sake. Is there something going on between you and Eren?”  
For a few, long, burning seconds, Levi continued to glare at him. Then he turned his head, eyes on the far wall, Levi tutted softly.  
“And? What if there is?”  
“Answer the question, Levi.”  
The glare returned, just as fierce as before. “It’s really that important that you know? Then yes. Yes there is something. And what? What does it matter anyway?”  
Erwin frowned, concerned and just slightly angry. Up until that moment, he’d still hoped that the reports had been wrong, that those who came with stories of the Captain and Eren had been mistaken, misread the situation. Those who’d said they’d seen looks and unnecessary if innocent touches had merely been seeing things that weren’t there.  
Those who’d come forward with details of more damning evidence had heard the other stories, and fabricated stories of their own.  
All of it, Erwin had been convinced, would add up to white lies and misunderstandings.  
But instead, Levi had confirmed it, made Erwin face the fact that, if nothing else, these reports were all based on truth. 

“You mean to say-” Erwin actually stuttered over his words, he was that shocked.  
“I mean to say that me and Eren Yeager have a relationship, of sorts. Yes.” Levi confirmed. “Now. If that is all, Commander, Squad Leader Hange has asked me-”  
“Levi!” Erwin snapped, both hands grabbing at Levi’s shoulders now, holding tight, he leaned down, towering over the shorter man, and he knew that was the wrong thing to do, but damnit, Levi was actually, genuinely frustrating him now. Something the Captain had not managed to do for a very long time.  
As predicted, Levi swiftly yanked Erwin’s hands off him, and stepped back. “You know better than to try towering over me, Erwin. If you’re trying to intimidate me I suggest you remember who you are dealing with.”  
“Levi. Please, would you take this situation seriously?”  
“What situation?” Levi snapped back, almost laughing. “Are you seriously so concerned about who I’m sleeping with?”  
There was barely a pause, but within it there was space for both men to consider these words.  
Memories that had remained tucked away neatly for some time now.  
As usual they would do their best to avoid it.  
“It is not my concern you should be thinking about!” Erwin retorted. “If this has got as far as me, it does not take much to consider that it might get to the council.” 

Levi blinked, and that was the only sign of faltering that he gave. Again, however, Erwin caught it.  
Erwin let out a sigh of relief. “So that, at least, you have considered, then.”  
Levi’s gaze was on the floor, now darting to the wall, anywhere but directly at Erwin. “Yes. I considered that.” He looked briefly at Erwin as he added. “You might even be pleased to know I brought the matter up with Eren before we had our first… Encounter.”  
“And yet you continued, let your own desires come first? Levi. I could almost understand how it could happen the first time, but to keep on with it, to allow it to become… Something, like a relationship. This is reckless.”  
Levi refused to look at Erwin still. “Just because I called it a relationship of sorts doesn’t mean you are allowed to dismiss it so casually. It is a relationship, but it is complicated so-”  
“All the worse then!” Erwin snapped. “All the worse if it is a relationship! Levi! Think. Think for a second, would you? Imagine yourself, standing before that council, explaining to them why you couldn’t take down Eren when you had to, when you’d promised that you would do exactly that.”  
Erwin stepped closer, and his voice got softer. “Please. I’m not asking for my benefit, or the benefit of the Survey Corps, I’m asking for your own sake.”  
The hand was gentle on Levi’s shoulder now. “Levi, if it came to that… And if there were casualties, which there would be, you know there would be. If you hesitate to stop him, and risk more lives. Levi. They could, they could deem that as treason against humanity.”  
Levi met his gaze, and again, removed the Commanders hand from his shoulder. “You’re going a bit far, aren’t you? You assume that just because I have feelings for the boy, I am unable to do my duty? Erwin. Once again, I ask you to remember who you are talking to.”  
Levi turned his back now, an insolent gesture, but he wanted this discussion over. He’d wanted it over before it’d begun. 

“Yes.” Erwin said. “I know you, and I know you are not one to put personal feelings before what you need to do. But the council, they won’t necessarily-”  
“To the council it is simply two soldiers fucking each other!” Levi snapped. He turned his head, but did not turn around. “They are not ones to care what soldiers do behind closed doors. And, let’s face it, this is hardly the first time a Captain has taken a subordinate to their bed.” Slowly, Levi did turn around again, eyebrows raised as he continued. “Or that a Commander has done the same.” 

Erwin’s jaw clenched, hearing the challenge in Levi’s words, in his very stance. He would not rise to it.  
What he wanted to say... He wanted to say that wasn't fair. He wanted to say that when he... When they... When they'd been whatever the fuck they'd been, he hadn't yet become Commander.  
Hell, hadn't it been their changes in station that had been a cause for them to end what they'd had? Not by design, never discussed or agreed or argued, it had simply happened that way. Changes in priority, lack of opportunity. 

In fact... Hadn't their last time been just after Erwin's promotion? Levi not yet given his new title, but everyone knew it was coming by then.  
If Erwin had known it would be the last time, maybe he would've taken a little more time to stop and savour. Instead of the hurried version of sex they'd given in to that night. Both perhaps a little more drunk than they'd admitted.  
For once Levi hadn't fought Erwin for dominance, and at the time Erwin hadn't even realised the significance of that. Levi never backed down easy, always fought with every kiss and touch, right up until the point on penetration. But. That night, he'd rolled over easily, laying submissively. Too invitingly beautiful to allow time to think. Why did that image still come so easily to Erwin?  
Levi on his back on the bed, undressed from the waist down, his shirt just barely covering himself, legs slightly splayed. Lips parted and hair just a little bit dishevelled. And those eyes... Warmer than many could ever imagine those eyes could be. Everything about him open, inviting.  
Oh. Why had it taken Erwin years to realise that Levi had known that night would be their last time? 

Levi scowled, as if he knew what Erwin was thinking about.  
Hell. He probably did.

“At least I’m not just using the boy to vent my own frustrations.” Levi continued, quieter. “At least there is… Genuine feeling between us.”  
And Erwin’s tongue got stuck again.  
_You think there was no genuine feeling? Levi, I'm sorry you ever believed that._  
But neither of their prides would allow such an apology, and Erwin got the feeling that Levi no longer had any need for it

Levi’s next words even quieter still, barely audible, his eyes closed. “For once, I have that. Do not begrudge me.”  
“Levi…” Erwin’s voice was soft now, soothing, and more than a touch regretful. _No Levi... No I don't begrudge you that._

Levi sucked in a breath, steadying himself. “You have your answers, Commander, and you have delivered your message of warning. I shall take it into consideration.”  
“And you’ll ignore it, won’t you?” Erwin said, a question not needing an answer.  
“That part, I’m afraid, is not up to you.”  
“Unless I make it an order?”  
“You won’t.”  
A silence between them, a world of things that could be said, that perhaps, years ago, should’ve been said.  
“You’re right.” Erwin said, with a sigh. “I won’t.”


End file.
